


War Of One

by Gillyann



Category: The Fall (TV), The Fall (UK 2013)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, F/F, First Time, Lesbian Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 04:38:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6269962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gillyann/pseuds/Gillyann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She wanted.  She still wants.  She almost had it, had her, and almost lost her all on the same night.  Reed was at war with herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A solitary war

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written that isn't a grad school research paper in over 15 years. I'm extremely rusty. Also this is not beta'd so expect some wonky grammar, sorry. I know post 2.03 has been done to death but these two women inspire me like crazy.  
> Let me know if I should continue or if I should pretend this never happened and go back to being just a reader and not a writer.

Alone, sitting in silence, she listens to the sound of her own heartbeat pounding in her ears. There is a war brewing inside of the mortuary, inside her soul. She almost lost the one thing she was petrified to gain. Sitting at her desk typing up her report, staring at the photographs of Spector’s latest victim, Reed gasps as the splash of black hair suddenly turns gold. Brown eyes fade to blue. Goosebumps form on her arms, and the remains of lunch eaten many hours earlier threaten to reappear at the thought of Stella laying naked on a gurney in her morgue. The chill weaving its way down her spine is quickly replaced by a buzzing warmth at the thought of Stella laying naked under her gaze, eyes wide open and alive, glowing with arousal. She wanted. She still wants. She almost had it, had her, and almost lost her all on the same night. Reed was at war with herself.

Reed notices she just retyped the last line four times and has no idea where she is in this latest report. Turning off the computer, she sighs. No more work is going to get accomplished here tonight. An entire day has passed and aside from the awkward exchange at the crime scene earlier she hasn’t heard from her. No phone call to tell her she was violated by the serial killer she’s chasing. No phone call to confide her fears. Nothing. She had found out about Spector being in Stella’s hotel room from a morgue technician. Reed sniffles as she’s overcome with exhaustion and frustration and tears sting the back of her eyes. Why would she receive a phone call? She was a coward and abandoned her last night. It’s not Stella’s style to beg or vent her feelings. Certainly she’s been safely buried away in a steely compartmentalized box of apathy by now. Reed is stung by the realization that this war of hers is a war of one. It just isn’t possible that Stella has over-analyzed what happened last night like she has. 

Grabbing her helmet and leather jacket, she shuts off the lights and leaves the office. She rides home a little faster than usual, taking liberties with the speed limit. The cool night air dries the tears that have fallen on her cheeks. Reed uses the ride to try to distract herself from her war. It’s futile. 

The detective is a mesmerizing mystery. A puzzle. Even as a child Reed loved doing and solving puzzles. Her affinity for problem solving and medicine led her naturally to the field of forensic pathology. Her attraction to the unknown could also be partially to blame for the downfall of her marriage. When everyday with Ted was the same, the magic gone, replaced by dull monotony and overwhelming familiarity, she found herself working later hours, burying herself in her work. The thrill of the puzzle was far more alluring than nights at home with her husband surrounded in silence and loneliness. She berated herself that it also made her a bad mother during those months before she filed for divorce. She has spent her weeks and weekends afterwards making up for it with the girls. Divorce has made her a better, more attentive mother.

Two years of single-motherdom and a rare date here and there have suited her just fine. Reed didn’t ever think about starting a serious relationship while her girls were still young. And furthermore, the idea of being with a woman had never crossed her mind before. This attraction to Stella had taken her by complete surprise. Something electric was occuring between the two of them and she knew that Stella was not immune to it. She only hoped that whatever it was Stella was looking for last night with her, was more than just a sweet night.

Reed slowed down as she neared her driveway and pulled in slowly. Noticing a dark car in her driveway, her heart began to thud in her chest. She grabbed the container of pepper spray in the bag on the back of her bike and slowly approached the vehicle, noticing someone in the driver’s seat. She exhaled slowly, realizing she had held her breath and tapped on the driver’s side window as she recognized the sleeping face in the car. Stella jerked awake and they stared at each other through the glass for a full minute before she opened the door. 

Reed stepped back from the vehicle giving her room to get out. “I’m not accustomed to late night visitors”.

Stella’s right brow shot up. “I hope I’m not imposing. My hotel room is still a crime scene. I can head back to the office. I thought you’d be home. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Reed noticed the detectives purple bags under her eyes and the slouch of her back. She looked pale and exhausted. A sheer reversal to the vibrant, confident, predatory display she had on last night. What a difference a day makes. She clearly hadn’t slept properly in 48 hours. “Don’t be ridiculous. Come inside. Do you have any belongings to bring in?”

Stella grabbed a bag from the backseat and followed her through her front door. 

Reed started rambling as she entered the house. She led Stella into her living room. “Sorry it’s such a mess, my girls’ toys everywhere, I haven’t been home to do any proper cleaning and I never have any guests. Are you hungry? You probably haven’t eaten all day…” Stella stopped her with a gentle hand on her elbow. Reed’s cheeks immediately pinked. She guided Stella to her couch and they sat closely, knees touching.

“I’m sure you’ve had a long day too. I know how difficult identifying that young girl in the woods must have been with the possibility of it being Rose. You don’t need to impress me and if my being here is going to make you nervous or uncomfortable I should really go.” Stella was a contradiction with her icy glare as she brought both her hands up to Reed’s shoulders and ran them up and down her arms, clasping their fingers together at the end.

“No, please stay. I’m really very glad that you’re here. I thought for sure I’d pushed you away by leaving last night and that wasn’t my intention at all, believe it or not. I… wanted last night to happen. I was a coward and a slave to my traditional beliefs on… relationships, and I’ve been scolding myself all day”, Reed stopped, taking a deep breath and looked into the detective’s eyes. She noticed they were still holding hands and she squeezed them together. 

“I wouldn’t want to be the cause of you committing some mortal sin of your religious beliefs, Professor. Nothing has to happen here.” Stella started to drop her hands and back away.

Reed felt herself becoming angry and stopped Stella’s retreat by grabbing her wrists and holding her still. “No, it’s not like that. This has nothing to do with the religion that I haven’t practiced in decades. This… these feelings are new to me. Not just due to the fact that you’re a woman. I feel hypnotized when I’m around you. I haven’t felt this way with anyone, possibly ever. I’m afraid not only because I wouldn’t have a damn clue what I’m doing, but also that this would be a one-time thing and mean nothing to you. I’m beginning to have real feelings for you Stella. I don’t know what the hell it all means but I’m quite taken with you and to be completely honest I’m afraid of being embarrassed first and then hurt later. And to top it all off you didn’t even bother to tell me what happened in your hotel room last night.”

Reed let go of one of Stella’s wrists to wipe the tears she just noticed were coming out of her eyes. Stella brought her hand up to her cheek and leaning in, whispered in her ear, “I didn’t call you because, Croyden girl, I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me… I’m sorry”.

Reed huffed and pulled Stella in to a hug and took a deep breath, smelling the lingering remains of Stella’s perfume. She combed her fingers through her blonde locks and felt herself relaxing for the first time all day. “Stella”, she sighed, visibly melting into her arms. Her eyes burned from the stinging tears and she felt like she was minutes away from falling asleep.

Stella, hand still on her cheek, tilted Reed’s face towards her and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. Reed leaned into it, deepening the kiss and opening her mouth. Tongues caressed and Reed felt Stella’s hand in her hair, pulling her hair back hard and pressing her hips into her own. 

Reed sighed, “I could’ve lost you last night. It’s all I could think about all day. What if I lost you before I ever really even had you?”

“I’m here now”, Stella answered.

Reed looked into her eyes. Tired eyes. She laughed. “Yes, you are here. And we’re both dead on our feet. Why does this feel like its terrible timing? I have to admit, I don’t want my first time with you to occur while I’m half asleep.” She shook her head sadly, “I’m already ahead of myself, assuming that there will be more than a first time…” She trailed off, looking down at the ground.

Stella lifted Reed’s chin with her fingertips and placed another chaste kiss on her lips. “You’ve been very forthcoming with how you feel. I must admit that that is not my style. But I can tell you that you would not just be a sweet night for me. I didn’t have a single conversation with John Olsen before sleeping with him. That was just about finding release and nothing more. That might not make you gain any respect for me but that is the truth. I like you. You’re definitely growing on me. I would never use you like that.” She smiled. 

Reed’s cheeks pinked again as she looked at Stella. She didn’t see the detective smile very often and despite her statement not being exactly what she might have wanted to hear, the smile made up for it. “Are you up for just sleeping with me tonight? I don’t think I have the energy for anything else.”

“Just sleeping with you sounds lovely”, Stella answered. 

Reed clasped her hand around Stella’s and pulled her off the couch. They didn’t let go of each other’s hands as they made their way up the stairs and rounded to the master bedroom. Reed went to her drawer and pulled out some pajamas.

“I left my bag downstairs, I’m going to go grab it”, Stella started.

“I have pajamas here for you and there’s an extra toothbrush in the medicine cabinet”, she stated, throwing a pair of pajamas at her. Stella caught them and smiled. 

Reed began unbuttoning her shirt and Stella stopped her, swiping her hands away and continued unbuttoning. She placed kisses on the flesh she revealed with each button popping open. As she got to her trousers, Stella kneeled and looked up, asking for permission. Reed nodded and Stella unzipped her trousers, pulling them down. Stella grabbed the pajama shorts on the bed and held them in front of Reed and she giggled as she stepped into them. 

Stella guided Reed to sit on the edge of the bed and stepped between her legs, unclasping her bra and throwing it to the ground. Reed groaned as Stella palmed and began massaging her breasts. “God, no one has touched me in years; that feels so amazing.”

“Mmmm, you’re beautiful”, Stella sighed. Reed reached for the end of Stella’s blouse and lifted it over her head. She unzipped the side of her skirt and pulled it down along with her pantyhose. Stella stepped out of them and lay down on the bed next to Reed as they inched up to the headboard. Reed laughed as she struggled to unclasp Stella’s bra.

“This is harder to do to another woman. I almost feel bad for men when they struggle with the bra now”, they both laughed. Reed got it off and started her own exploration of Stella’s breasts. “You’re so soft… so beautiful.”

Stella reached for her pajama bottoms and put them on. “I don’t feel bad for any man. We’ll make time for this later after we’ve both gotten some rest, okay?”

Reed smiled and leaned forward, capturing Stella’s lips with her own. She pushed down the covers, covering them both and pulled Stella into her arms. Their naked breasts against each other felt extraordinary.

Reed moaned into Stella’s mouth. “Thank you for this.”

“No need. You’re the one providing all this wonderful hospitality”, she smiled. 

‘I really need to see that smile more often’, Reed thought before drifting off to sleep in the warmth of Stella’s embrace. For the time being, her solitary war was won.


	2. A call to action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reed's inner dialogue and the war continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and feedback. I'm still rusty with the writing so please forgive me, I'm due for an oil change and tune up.

Sunlight warmed Reed’s face as she began to slowly awaken. Awareness of the night before suddenly churned her empty stomach as a singe of anxiety traveled up and down her spine. Keeping her eyes closed she tried to control her breathing, preparing herself for what she might or might not see upon opening them. 

*Please be here. Please be here. Please be here.*

She slowly stretched her hand towards the other side of the bed and felt… nothing. Cold sheets. Sighing she opened her eyes and sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard. Tapping her head against the cold wood she cursed herself for feeling what she could only describe as heartbreak. Biting her lip, and biting back the bitter taste of disappointment she got up to shower. 

*I told her I was afraid of getting hurt, and here I am, feeling foolish and hurt.*

She stopped by the bathroom door and turned around to peruse the room. Did last night even happen? Another head print was on the adjoining pillow on her bed. Sure enough the pajama bottoms lay neatly folded on the chair next to her bed. Evidence that she surely wasn’t alone for some of the night. The sinking feeling in her stomach lingered as she showered.

*I could’ve been sharing this shower this morning, she sighed. This added stress is exactly why I don’t need this in my life right now. Then why did I just have the best night’s sleep I can remember in recent history last night? * 

Reed watched the soap spiral down the drain and considered what a perfect metaphor it was for how her life and sanity were headed at the moment. Up until a few weeks ago she felt in perfect harmony. Divorced for over a year, things were settling for her and her daughters and her routine was comfortable and peaceful. Her life outside of work was pretty stress free. She liked her life. 

Over a cup of coffee and the morning’s newspaper she made a deal with herself to bury herself in her work like she used to do and clear her mind of everything Stella. She made it until lunchtime when she looked at her phone for the first time all day and felt the burning sinking feeling in her stomach again when she had no missed calls. Three bites into her sandwich she threw it in the garbage and decided to take a walk to clear her head.

She thought back to their first meeting. She immediately noticed the detective noticing her as she rode in on her bike. She was unfamiliar at the crime scene but the beautiful woman with the bouncing blonde curls caught and kept her attention immediately. There was intensity in her eyes that captured her and intrigued her. Alone in the bedroom of the crime scene taking pictures, they didn’t feel like strangers. They felt like old colleagues who had worked together for years. There was smoothness to their collaboration, a natural camaraderie and most strikingly, an electricity that ran through them. She remembers the chill she got while taking the detective’s picture on the bed. Arousal. At a fucking crime scene.

The first time they met for drinks Reed was giddy on her way to the bar. She put on extra eye liner and her best heels. She wanted to look good. The ease of conversation flowed fluidly. She hadn’t felt a connection like that with anyone in years, not even some of her closest friends. Telling her about Rose’s experience in college was easy. The detective’s icy reputation was understandable, but not from her perspective. She only feels warmth, burning, yearning and pure electricity when near her.

Later, by the lake, while confronting her about the fingernail scratches on John Olsen’s back, she admits to herself to feeling equally jealous and aroused. On one hand she was grateful their time wasn’t wasted and the scissors were found, but dammit if they couldn’t have been found five minutes later. It felt like a seduction was abruptly interrupted. She had never wanted to run her hands over another’s hands more than in that moment. Her beautiful, slender fingers intertwined in her own. Her obviously short but perfectly manicured nails were stimulating to behold. The air felt like it had been sucked out of the car and the only place she could seek refuge for oxygen was the detective’s mouth. 

Hands and fingernails were a staple to her profession. Often a crime could be solved with a few pieces of DNA being found under a fingernail. Defensive wounds were imperative to a case, and often found on the hands. Reed was so used to looking at hands with clinical detachment and a scientist’s eye, she was alarmed to view another's hands in such a different manner. She was even more alarmed to realize how much she wanted those hands, on herself. She wanted to touch and to be touched. But what was most remarkable was that in that moment, in that car, the owner of those hands eyes spoke the same thing. She saw desire in those eyes.

Reed arrived back to work feeling a little lighter after her walk. She refused to look at her phone knowing it would give her no relief. She finished out her work day and was about to leave when she heard about Spector’s arrest. Looking at her phone she warred with herself not to call her. She won and went home, alone. 

She buried her face in the pillow Stella slept on the night before, inhaling the sweet smell she left behind. Curling into the fetal position, her whole body shook as she was overcome with tears. Sobbing, she gasped for air and clutched at the pillow. She reached for the chair and grabbed the shorts Stella wore the night before and clutched them to her chest. Sleep slowly overtook her in a restless slumber.


	3. Preparing for Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the Spector shooting. The beginning of smut starts here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first dip in the femmeslash. I'm "going with the flow" here, I hope I do it justice.

She got news the next day that Spector would be leading a team to Rose. She unwittingly began praying to a god she hadn’t spoken to in decades to bring her home alive and undamaged. Work was nearly impossible to focus on, yet again, but she found herself capable of losing herself in the autopsy of a 57 year old woman, mother of 3 and grandmother of 2.

Diana Murphy was a real estate broker, married for 35 years and close to her daughters and grand kids. Her death was most presumably sudden and unexpected. She was found by a coworker leaving for lunch, slumped over her steering wheel in the parking lot at work. Reed found no outward signs of foul play as she began the exterior examination. The day dragged on as she weighed organs and took tissue samples, noticing scarring and fatty deposits in the coronary arteries by the heart.

Later, typing up her autopsy findings, she received the phone call from a friend at the hospital that Rose was just brought in, alive but unconscious. Also Spector had been shot and would be sent to surgery and Tom Anderson was being treated in the emergency room for a gunshot wound. Reed pressed end on her phone, a sense of numbness overtaking her body. She slumped down on the couch in her office, overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, elation, despair and choked on her sobs of relief.

A knock on her office door, “Are you okay, professor?” Marie, a morgue technician asked. 

Reed stood up, brushing her hands nervously down her pants, composing herself, “I’m fine. I need to get to the hospital. Rose was found alive and Spector and Inspector Anderson have been shot.”

“You’re clearly distraught, please let me drive you,” Marie insisted, gently placing her hand on her boss’s arm and leading her out of the office. Reed didn’t even bother putting up a fight; she knew she was in no shape to drive at the moment.

Once at the hospital she was lost in a flurry of activity. Officers and members of the media swarmed the emergency room and exterior of the hospital. She found her friend, a fellow physician, and was advised that Rose was just brought up to the Intensive Care Unit, suffering from exposure and severe dehydration. She also had bad pressure ulcers from being in the same position in the car for god knows how long. She would survive; physically at least. She was leaving to go find her friend’s hospital room; she turned around and asked, “And Spector? Will he survive?”

“He’s not out of the woods yet, so to speak,” the doctor cryptically responded. She hummed in response and made her way to the elevators, her heart pounding in anticipation of seeing Rose. The ICU was littered with members of the PSNI and the nurse wouldn’t give her access to her friend. 

“Family only, ma’am”. Resigned, she turned and walked down the hallway.

Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes landed on the woman on a bench far down the hall. Reed’s pulse shot up and she audibly choked on her own breath at the sight. Stella slouched over, her hands bloody and covering her face. Her beautiful blonde hair, caked with blood and her blouse, stained brownish red as well. Reed slowly made her way over and stood in front of the detective, garnering no response. She reached out and combed her fingers through the blonde hair, getting jammed in a section covered in blood and the detective shot off the bench, jumping forward. 

“Jesus!” Stella breathed out, her chest heaving, gasping for air. Reed got a better look at the woman, covered in blood from head to foot. Blood, smeared on her face.

“I’m sorry I startled you, please sit back down,” Reed tentatively reached her hand forward towards the rattled detective. Surprised, she took her hand and they sat next to each other, leg to leg. Reed kept hold of Stella’s hand, examining the fingernails she once admired, now stained with enough blood that would surely take a week to wash away fully. She traced circles in her palm and made her way up to her wrist, caressing the soft flesh there gently.

Stella leaned her head on the professor’s shoulder and sighed. “Oh Reed, I’m so sorry,” her breath hitched. Reed nuzzled her face in her hair and brought her hand up to caress her cheek, pulling her hair back behind her ear. Anyone could walk by at any minute and see them like this and she suddenly realized she didn’t give a damn. Feeling a boost of confidence and self-assurance she took the opportunity to graze her lips on the detective’s cheek and nuzzle by her ear.

Whispering gently, “You have nothing to be sorry for. You found Rose. She’s alive and she’s going to be okay.” She continued to caress her hair and cheek. Stella looked up at her and Reed was shocked to see her eyes red, wet and full of tears. She ached for the woman in front of her and had an overwhelming need to take care of her. Stella began shivering and her teeth chattered.

“I’m so cold,” she said through chattering teeth.

“You might be going into shock. Here,” she pulled her jacked off and wrapped it around Stella, pulling her close. She rubbed her hands firmly up and down her back and arms and pulled her head to her chest. She began placing kisses on her head and forehead and noticed the shivering slowing down. She continued stroking her back and arms and placing random kisses. Using one hand she tipped Stella’s chin up so she could look at her and noticed those tears had spilled over on her cheeks. 

“Shhhh, no tears, you’re okay, Rose is okay, I’m here,” she whispered, framing her face with her hands wiping the tears off her cheeks with her thumbs. Ignoring the blood on her face, Reed leaned forward gently touching her lips to Stella’s, reveling in the softness. Leaning back slightly, she looked into her eyes and for the first time that evening saw the familiar light back in the detective’s weary eyes. She leaned forward again, capturing her lips in a much fiercer lip lock, moaning quietly.

Stella finally came alive and twisted her fingers in the professor’s dark hair, crushing her lips to hers. Reed’s fingers danced over Stella’s blouse, spreading fire over silk, and reached underneath to find soft skin. Stella’s tugged at Reed’s shirt, pulling it out of her trousers, exploring the finely muscled abdomen she uncovered and leaving kisses down her chin and throat.

“Did you drive here?” Reed asked, her hands continuing to purposefully explore the living, breathing specimen in her arms. She felt Stella freeze and pull back, her eyes glazed over with arousal.

“What?” She asked, her voice scratchy and deep.

“Did you drive here? I was dropped off. If you drove, let’s take your car back to my place.

“I was in a caravan. My car is at the station.”

“Then I’ll call a taxi. I’d like to continue this someplace more comfortable. And preferably with less blood between us. I doubt they’ll need you here at the hospital tonight. We can get an update in the morning. Does that sound all right?” Stella responded by kissing her deeply, and thoroughly, whimpering into her mouth. Their tongues played, awakening a need inside of her she hadn’t felt in years. This wasn’t just a desire for sex. She desired this particular woman, and more than just her body.

Emboldened by the searing kiss, Reed eased her hand down Stella’s abdomen and under her trousers finding more slippery silk and softness. Stella hissed and their teeth clashed and Reed felt her hair yanked back roughly as her hand reached farther and found warm wetness under her fingers. She began rubbing gentle circles over the wet silk as Stella’s hips began rotating.

The clicking of heels in the background brought Reed back to the moment and she jumped off the bench and pulled Stella up with her. “Taxi,” she simply stated. Stella grinned at her and handed her jacket back.

“Let’s get out of here then, shall we”.


	4. The Battle Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ladies arrive back to Reed's house after Spector has been shot and Reed takes good care of Stella.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the encouraging kudos and comments!

It was dark out by the time they left the hospital and the ride to Reed’s house was cloaked in a comfortable silence. Stella rested her head on the brunette’s shoulder, taking in the remaining sweet scent of her perfume mixed with the lingering acrid smell of the mortuary. Reed relished the humming noises her partner made as she stroked her fingers through her the gold strands and she nuzzled closer to her chest. It felt comfortable, natural, absolutely right, and Reed felt empowered at the realization of how far away Croydon suddenly felt and how much she didn’t give a damn what her childhood morals and religious upbringings taught her. This felt too good to be wrong.

Their comfortable silence continued as they made their way into the house and winded up the oak stairs. Reed led Stella to her bedroom and gestured for her to sit on the bed.

“I’m going to run a bath and get us some wine. Lay down if you want to and I’ll come fetch you when I’m ready.”

“I’m covered in his blood. I don’t want to be responsible for making a mess on your clean bed linens,” Stella moved to get up.

“Stop. It’s washable. More than that it’s replaceable and my concern right now is more for your comfort. Also I plan on you helping me to make a mess of my bed in a little while, if you’re up for it that is…” Reed cupped Stella’s chin in her hand, smiling down at her.

“Is that so, professor?” Stella kicked off her heels and lay back on the bed. “Don’t let it be said that I’m not up for dirtying up the sheets,” she stated while closing her eyes and relaxing on the soft, navy blue duvet.

Reed took the opportunity to study her for a minute. She curled up on her side and despite being covered in blood was still the picture of a classic beauty. Her hair, still full of volume and gentle curls even caked with brown streaks. Her full lips, still swollen from their earlier kisses. Her face splashed with freckles, giving her a youthful look despite her fierce, steely authoritative nature. The woman required almost no makeup and still managed to look like she just left the set of a Hugo Boss photo shoot. 

She turned around and began getting the bath ready, filling up her whirlpool tub and dropping in a jasmine and lavender bath bomb. As the tub filled she went downstairs to get some Merlot and 2 glasses. Before heading back up the stairs she grabbed a second bottle. She felt confident about the evening but some liquid courage never hurt. Back up the stairs and in the bathroom she had the 2 glasses poured as the tub finished filling up and drank half of one glass.

Reed stepped back into the bedroom and heard light snoring on her bed. Smiling, she sat down next to the source on her bed. She maneuvered Stella’s arms out of her coat and slid it off the bed without waking her. Feeling brave she began unbuttoning her blouse, revealing a silky gray bra outlined with lace. Unfortunately the bra fell victim to the bloodshed as well as her perfectly toned abdomen. Reed continued downwards and unbuttoned and unzipped her trousers, gently lifting her partner’s hips and began sliding them down. Stella blinked open her eyes and leaned up on her elbows. 

“I see you’ve started without me,” Stella stated, her voice gravelly with sleep. They both looked down at her body, bloody blouse open, matching gray bra and panties and nude thigh high stockings. 

“The bath is ready. I was going to carry you in there if you didn’t wake up. I’d let you sleep but what would be the fun in that? Plus I think we both should wash this evening off of ourselves.” Reed continued her work by pulling down Stella’s stockings.

“I hope that means that you’ll be joining me,” Stella stated while reaching for the hem of Reed’s shirt.

“Eventually,” Reed began. “I’m going to wash you first, come on.” She took her hand and led her to the bathroom. Once inside, she reached around her back and unclasped her bra.

“Aha! Success first try this time,” she smiled.

“Practice makes perfect,” Stella smiled back. She unabashedly pulled down her own panties and stood in front of Reed, gauging her reaction. Apparently liking what she saw in Reed’s eyes, she stepped into the hot bubble bath and sat down. Reed handed her a glass of wine.

“Mmmm, thank you. I could get used to this kind of service,” she said while reclining back and stretching out.

“I could get used to providing it,” Reed said while kneeling on the bathmat next to the tub. She took a cup and began dumping water on Stella’s head, thoroughly soaking her hair. She grabbed her bottle of Kenra shampoo and began massaging it into her scalp, using her finger tips to apply enough pressure to elicit deep moaning. 

“I wanted him to live. I want him to live,” Stella whispered. “He needs to pay for what he did to those women. To their families. Death isn’t proper justice.”

Reed continued her ministrations, massaging the back of her neck next. She didn’t respond. Grabbing the cup she began rinsing and followed up by massaging conditioner in next.

“I saw the shock on Tom’s face when I didn’t go to him when he was shot. My only focus was on Spector not dying. I needed him to stay alive. He can’t die!” She cried out, choking up.

Reed stopped massaging her head and used her hand to turn Stella’s face towards her. “He’s not going to die. Listen, he’s not. You can’t kill the devil.”

“He’s just a man. He’s a man like you and me, he’s no different. He’s a mere mortal.” She sighed.

“You’re right but I think you’ll get your justice here. You’ll get your trial, your judgement day. I have a good feeling. But let’s let that rest for tonight. We’ll call the hospital tomorrow. Promise me you’ll try to relax? Be with me? Can you let Spector, the third wheel, out of this house tonight?” Reed continued with the head massage.

“I can’t make any promises but I’ll do my best. You’re making a very convincing case with your fingers right now. You’d make a better case by joining me in here.” She moaned.

Reed dipped her hands in the tub, rinsing off the conditioner and stood up. She grabbed the wine bottles and her glass and set them by the tub and hit the dimmer switch by the door, turning the lights down. She began undressing under Stella’s intense gaze. Once she was down to her bra and panties, she paused, letting Stella look. 

Reed bit her lip and began blushing, looking down at her well-worn and mismatched underwear. “Sorry, if I knew this was happening tonight I would have put on some better lingerie but I feel awkward wearing silk or lace to the morgue.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, those are coming off, right?” She chuckled. Reed blushed a deeper shade of red and slipped them off. She stepped into the tub, kneeling in front of Stella.

“I still haven’t finished my work here,” she stated, grabbing the cup and turning on the tap to rinse Stella’s hair with fresh water. Reaching behind her on the ceramic ledge, she grabbed a washcloth and lathered it with a sweet citrus smelling soap. “I’ve learned over the years that a strong citrus smelling body wash is about the only thing that can wash away the smell of death. I think it’s appropriate for both of us right now. Wash away the stain of the day,” she murmured as she lifted one of Stella’s arms and began to massage her skin. 

Taking her time, tracing her body, she methodically mapped the other woman’s curves, dips and lines. She needed extra pressure on her abdomen to erase the devil’s blood. Stella maintained intense eye contact, watching Reed’s movements as her breathing shallowed out, mouth open and slack. Once Reed finished cleaning her soft stomach she climbed into her lap, straddling her legs and dropped her hand between their bodies, gently cleaning in between her partner’s folds.

Stella moaned and reached for her wine glass, emptying half of it and handing it to Reed who promptly finished it off. “I think it’s my turn now,” she whispered, grabbing the washcloth and freshly lathering it with soap. 

She pushed Reed back to recline on the opposite side of the tub and straddled her lap, mirroring their earlier positon. Stella rested the washcloth on the side of the tub and began to quickly wash Reed’s hair, not putting in the same amount of time or energy as she received, distracted by Reed’s hands running up and down her sides, tickling her in sensitive areas. 

The washcloth back in hand again, she pulled Reed forward, slipping behind her, pulling Reed into her lap between her legs. She began lathering up the brunette’s breasts, chest and arms, coming back to her breasts fully lathered. Dropping the washcloth, she continued her ministrations with bare hands. She cupped their full weight and massaged the tissue, pulling her nipples into hard peaks. Reed moaned and tilted her head back, capturing Stella’s mouth with her own in a searing kiss. There was no doubt in her mind that Stella could hear the blood coursing through her veins, her heart slamming in her chest.

Reed felt her blood vibrating at all her pulse points, in her ears, tingling her toes and pulsing between her thighs. Stella moved one hand off a pointed breast and ever so slowly traced it downwards into the soft, neatly trimmed dark brown curls of Reed’s center. Cupping her most sensitive part, Reed gasped, breaking the kiss and licked her lips, leaning her head back against Stella’s shoulder. She couldn’t focus on anything else other than her partner’s fingertips on her labia and slowly outlining her hardening bundle of nerves. Unconsciously, her hips began rotating in the opposite direction of Stella’s circling fingers. 

“Oh god, oh Stella,” Reed cried out as Stella plunged a finger into body, her palm crushing her clit and rubbing up and down. She inserted a second finger and quickly located the rough patch of skin inside that set Reed wild. Reeds hands gripped Stella’s thighs as her own hips bucked on their own volition as she came, keening her lovers name in a mantra. 

Stella rained kisses on Reed’s neck as they both caught their breath, heart beats slowing down. She reached for the second bottle of wine, filling up the glasses and handed one to Reed.

“Good?” Stella asked with a raised brow as Reed took a sip of her wine, spitting it out in the tub, choking on a laugh. She turned around in her lap, facing her.

“Oh god woman, you’re going to be the death of me,” she chuckled, drinking more from her glass and setting it down to wrap her arms around Stella’s neck, leaning in for a gentle, soft kiss. Their lips danced against each other and one of them whimpered, and Reed realized this was by far the most erotic and sensual experienced of her life. At the same time she realized she was breaking out in goosebumps and the heat of their encounter wasn’t enough to counterbalance the cooling temperature of the bath.

“Let’s take the second act into the next room and I’ll see if I can make you feel as ‘good’ as you made me feel, okay?” Reed grinned, stepping out and wrapping herself in a big terrycloth towel. She handed Stella one as she stepped out and drained the tub.

“I have faith in you, professor. And anyway, we have all night to get it right,” she placed a kiss on the corner of Reed’s mouth, grabbed the wine glasses and headed out into the bedroom. 

Reed stood in front of the mirror combing through her hair, her nerves returning as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her chest was flushed, her lips swollen, her breathing shallow. 

*I can do this. I want this. I want her. Why am I still in the bathroom?*

Stella returned to the bathroom doorway. “Coming?”

“I think that’s my line this time,” Reed grinned and made her way out to the bedroom. They stood on opposite sides of the bed and as if choreographed, dropped their towels at the same time and climbed in, giggling like new lovers should. The stress and weight of the horrible day and week completely absent from the room. They met each other in the middle of the bed, smiling into each other’s eyes and it dawned on Reed that her nerves were gone. This was going to be so good.


	5. Winning the war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clean up on aisle 3. The aftermath of the after bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual I greatly appreciate the kudos and your comments :)

Reed scooted over to Stella till the entire length of their bodies touched. She finger combed her golden locks, darker now after the bath, but free of the day’s devastation. She began tracing the features of her face, her perfectly arched eyebrows, thin aquiline nose, down to her rose shaped lips, letting her fingertips dance over them gently. She caressed her neck, skimming her knuckles over Stella’s collarbone and back up to her face, cupping her cheeks in both hands.

Reed captured Stella’s eyes with her own, gazing into their blue depths. With tenderness in her voice she whispered, “I get the feeling you don’t let many people do this.”

“Do what? Share a bed with me? Surely you jest,” Stella visibly tensed up and reached over for her wine glass, putting space in between them both that felt more than just physical.

“No, Stella. Touch you. Really touch you. I didn’t mean anything bad by it, really. Honestly, I feel honored. I get the feeling you don’t let many people into your life. I want to be let in. I want to touch you. I want more of this. More of you.” Reed took the wine glass from Stella’s hands, purposefully raking her fingers over hers and finished it off, setting it down on her side of the bed.

Stella remained silent, her gaze elsewhere in the room, contemplating her partner’s words. Reed, feeling defeated, rolled off her side onto her back, eyes on the ceiling. The only light in the bedroom washed in from the dim light in the bathroom. She studied the shadows cast on the ceiling from the blinds, counting the lines. Reed felt her heart crumbling inside of her as the silence lingered and jumped when Stella began talking.

“You’re right,” she stated, rolling over and inching closer to Reed in the bed. She reached over and began caressing Reed’s inner arm by her wrist, up and down in long strokes. “I haven’t let anyone truly touch me in years. The idea isn’t a favorable one to me. Letting down my barriers means showing my vulnerability. Three days ago this, us, wasn’t a favorable option to you. How do I know that if I let you in that in another three days you won’t be afraid of what society thinks of you again? I’m not accustomed to being so… exposed. I don’t allow myself to be in that position.” 

“If I’m not mistaken you just allowed yourself to be vulnerable to me in the bath earlier. Was that so bad?” Reed whispered.

Stella hummed in her throat, “No that wasn’t so bad at all. But if I remember properly, I had the upper hand at one point.”

Reed paused, considering her words. “Is that what this is about? Control? Stella, I’ll give you the control, I don’t need it. In fact, I don’t want it. You want the reigns on this relationship? Consider them in your hands, always. I just want you, all of you, whatever you’ll give me. Please let me touch you. Let me in. Let me love you,” Reed’s voice cracked and she blushed, turning her head away. She hadn’t meant to sound so desperate, so needy. She hadn’t been prepared for this woman to get under her skin so quickly. 

Stella began placing kisses on Reed’s neck. Full, wet kisses, paving a path down her chest. She maneuvered herself on top of her, with one leg between both of her velvety tanned legs. They were hip to hip, breast to breast, and Stella felt wetness on her thigh between her legs that was not hers, mixing with her own.

“Yes,” she whispered, turning Reed’s face back to her. She wiped away the tears that had fallen on her cheeks away with her thumbs, kissing the wet streaks they left behind.

“What?” Reed croaked out. 

“Yes, I’ll let you touch me. Please touch me. Yes, I’ll try to let you in. I want you in my life… hopefully as a permanent fixture. I do have to admit, however, I’m not easy to love. I’m not easily… tamed. I’m not accustomed to monogamy or relationships and all the rules and guidelines that typically go hand in hand with them,” she stated, while rocking her hips against Reed.

“Oh, Stella. I’m not asking you to marry me. I want whatever you’re willing to give. I do usually require a certain degree of monogamy. I commit myself to the person I’m with; I would hope you could do the same for me. Maybe I can convince you I’m worth the trouble,” she stated, getting distracted by the wet warmth and tingling between her thighs.

“For you, I’m willing to try. You drive me crazy. I’m feeling things I may never have felt before. You’re melting the ice inside of me. I’m afraid you’re going to ruin my scary reputation. Dare I say, you make me happy? On that note, how about we shut up and you continue making me happy. Start your convincing…,” she breathed into Reed’s ear, their folds sliding back and forth against each other, rocking.

“God yes,” Reed groaned, pressing her lips gently against the woman on top of her, surprised by the overwhelming feeling of euphoria she felt after their conversation. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear, but deep down she knew it was the best possible scenario from this enigmatic woman currently doing incredible things to her body. 

Reed’s eyes fluttered shut as she let her mind shut down and just allow the physical sensations to take over. Stella’s hair was ticking her jaw, and dripping cold drops of water from the ends onto her heated chest. She didn’t think it was possible that sex with another woman could work this way but she was so close to orgasm again just sliding their folds against each other, clits rocking together in tandem. Their breasts skidded together, pointed nipples bumping and sliding smoothly with their combined sweat and Reed suddenly needed to taste one.

She leaned forward, capturing a nipple in her mouth and sucking hard, pleased with the gasp that resulted from her partner. Stella stopped moving and moved off her, reaching a hand down into Reed’s wetness and circling her hard nub. Reed hadn’t tasted enough and pushed Stella onto her back, her mouth never leaving the suction of her nipple. Palming and roughly massaging her other breast she moved her mouth downwards, reveling in the soft flesh under her. This was so different than being with the rough, hairy body of a man. This was luscious soft curves, sweet smells, soft lips, high pitched moans, gentle uncalloused hands and Reed had never been so aroused and excited.

Scooting down between Stella’s thighs, she placed gentle kisses between them and not wanting to wait a minute more, grabbed Stella’s hips and pulled her center to her mouth, burying her nose in the neatly trimmed, soft curls. Inhaling deeply, she was no longer surprised to find that she didn’t mind the strong, sweetly sour aroma her partner was emanating. Licking her from top to bottom she is stunned but even more aroused as her hair is suddenly being yanked by her undulating partner above her. Stella’s knees draped across her shoulders in an open invitation to do more, more, more.

“God Reed, I didn’t think you’d be ready or want to do that. You’re certainly good at convincing me,” Stella breathed.

“I want this. I want you,” Her lips seal around the bundle of nerves that have hardened, craving more attention. Reed rejoices in every noise, curse, husky moan coming from the woman she wants to please. She adds two fingers to the musky wetness, sliding them easily inside her depths and thrusting them in tandem with the suction of her lips. She is pleasantly astonished as the thighs around her shoulders begin to quake and her face is being pushed up against her partner’s thrusts and she almost comes herself hearing the litany of her name and God’s name murmured breathlessly above her.

Reed is ecstatic and bounces back up the bed giggling like a little girl. Her heart thunders in her chest at this experience, pleasing this woman, rivals with medical school graduation day. She has pleased her audience and she is addicted. Her lips capture Stella’s in a slow dance that she never wants to end. Making love has never felt this good before. She wants to nurture this mysterious woman, crack through her strong shell, learn every secret. She earnestly hopes she is given the opportunity.

“Wow,” she breathes out. “I didn’t think I was going to have such success on the first try. You are so incredibly beautiful by the way,” she laughs, raining kisses all over Stella’s face and smiling down at her, beaming. Stella laughs back, her eyes lit up as she throws Reed onto her back, reversing their positions.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you’ve been doing that for years. But I was tightly wound and on the verge of orgasm since you touched me at the hospital. You do that to me. How do you feel about it?” She asked, leaning down to suck one of Reed’s tanned nipples into her mouth.

“Mmmm, I liked it. A lot. You taste good. I could really get used to it,” she moaned as Stella wound her way down her body, her lips getting closer to her aching core.

“Good,” Stella whispered, licking between Reed’s folds, making her shudder. *Get used to it because I think I could really get used to being with you like this a lot more.* Stella thought.

Stella looked up at the woman above her. Eyeliner smudged after not being properly washed off in the bath, wet hair turning frizzy in the humid air they created around them, sheen of sweat on her forehead, chest heaving and glowing a shade of red on her glorious brown skin, mouth slack open, her name a whisper on her lips. She felt something gripping her heart from inside that went far deeper than lust, deeper than infatuation or simple attraction. Stella silently laughed at herself as she realized she had more than just a little crush on this stunning doctor under her lips. Her heart was well and truly stolen. Spoken for. For the first time in decades, she was going to allow herself to be vulnerable. For now though, she would be keeping that information to herself.

Reed was undulating under Stella’s skilled mouth and fingers and felt herself burst open in just a few short minutes. The first touch of Stella’s lips on her core had been electric. She came, fists grabbing and crumpling the bed sheets. Stella climbed back up her body and their eyes met, drowning in each other’s depths. 

“I feel like you’ve awoken my soul, it’s unnerving but… incredible at the same time.” Reed whispered, and Stella’s heart melted some more.

Reed wrapped her arms around Stella’s neck, her eyes wide and wet, as she let that sink in. One single tear slid down Reed’s face, pooling in her ear. She swiped at it, blocked by Stella’s lips. Reed shivered and Stella pulled the bed sheets over them, curling up and pulling Reed into her arms.

“I made you come,” Reed whispered. 

Stella burst out in a full laugh. “Indeed you did. You get a cookie,” she smiled.

“Just one?” Reed whined.

“One big cookie for one terrific orgasm.”

“Well I guess I’ll need to give you some more,” Reed whispered, smiling against Stella’s chest. “I like making you come and I like cookies", they both laughed. "Thank you for letting me touch you.”

Stella felt her heart melt just a little more and she held the woman against her tighter and closer, kissing the crown of brown hair under her nose.


	6. War paint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after isn't so sweet.

Reed woke up to the sound of snoring. Confused at first, she warmly remembered the events of the night before and turned to face her new lover, face dimly lit by dawn sunlight sneaking in through the cracks in the blinds. Her pulse raced with equal parts elation and trepidation. She knew this one wasn’t going to be easy, but she would be worth it. Smiling, she eased out of bed, as the other events of yesterday chilled her with anxiety. Grabbing her robe, she padded her way downstairs and began making phone calls while brewing coffee.

Some time later, Stella awoke alone and made her way downstairs. She found Reed staring at her phone at the kitchen table in a trance-like state, dry tear stains appearing on her cheeks. Stella slowly approached the woman, a chill going down her spine at the possible reasons her new lover appeared in such a state of shock. Gently placing a hand on her shoulder and a kiss to her forehead she whispered, “Hey… baby, are you okay?”

Reed flinched at the term of endearment but didn’t move. “Baby?”

Stella ignored the question, frustrated with the awkward ‘morning after’ already. “It appears you’ve made some calls, so what do you know? I tried calling upstairs but my phone has no charge left”.

“He’s alive. He’s in a coma but will likely survive. You got want you wanted. You’ll get your trial. Your justice,” Reed stated coldly and moved to get up from the table.

“Are you going to tell me what’s gotten you into such a huff or shall I just take my leave then?” Stella nonchalantly asked, while pouring herself a cup of coffee from the urn.

“Tom Anderson, really?” Reed stated. “He’s a child, Stella. And you spent the night with him while I cried myself to sleep here holding the shorts you wore the night prior. I’m just feeling more than a little foolish. I don’t know what I expected, really. I just didn’t expect to get briefed with that this morning. He’s telling everyone that will listen that you slept with him and cared more about saving Spector’s life than his welfare.” Reed sat back down, a wave of exhaustion floating through her.

Stella audibly sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter sipping her coffee. For the first time in her recent memory she wished she could go back in time and undo that night. But how can she explain to Reed that he meant nothing more than John Olsen did. It was simply about release, stress relief and only sex.

She examined the floor, hoping that the pattern in the tiles would help her to find the right words. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and prayed for guidance. Walking over to Reed she knelt in front of her, taking her hands. She was pleased to see Reed surrendering to her touch. “Please believe me when I say it meant nothing. I had just gone through an emotional upheaval interviewing Spector. Spector spit my journal out at me, revealing personal information about my past that no one should have the right to hear and now the entire PSNI has access to it. I needed a quick fuck to forget. Anderson was there and more than willing. I used him, Reed. I made clear to him what my intentions were and he’s acting like a child now.”

Reed looked up at Stella, fire burning behind her eyes. “He IS a child, Stella!”

“Yes. I had poor judgement and I deeply regret the decision. And not just because he’s made the whole world privy to it. I hate that this is hurting you. I don’t want to hurt you,” Stella whispered, moving her hands to Reed’s arms and stroking them up and down.

“Why didn’t you come to me that night?” Reed whispered, choking back a sob.

“Oh Reed, would you have been ready for that? I use sex to forget. I use people to get pleasure so I can get out of my head. That’s what it was. I was one second away from a nervous breakdown and I needed to escape. You already meant more to me than to use you like that. I’m not explaining this well, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you’re hurting.” Stella chanced a kiss and leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss on Reed’s lips. Her knees were beginning to hurt on the floor, but she continued to kneel and move her hands gently up and down Reed’s arms.

“I think you don’t give yourself enough credit for what you’re really looking for. I think you don’t know yourself as well as you think you do. It’s not just about sex or release. You’re still looking for human connection. Affirmation. Validation. And I don’t think you’ve given me enough credit for what I can be for you. Had you come to me that night I guarantee I would’ve given you a lot more than Tom Anderson did. I CARE about you Stella! So much it’s frightening to me. I’m back to square one here, feeling like I’m losing you and gaining you all at the same time. I’m so fucking lost I don’t know what direction to go in,” Reed pushed away and stood up, heading back up the stairs. 

Feeling anger burning up in her, Stella considered walking out the door at that moment. Her clothes from yesterday were ruined anyway. Could she call a cab and leave in Reed’s robe? She sighed, knowing Reed deserved to be treated better than the men that she used. She made her way up the stairs finding Reed angrily pulling the sheets up and straightening up the bed. 

“You’re right,” Stella stated, standing in the doorway.

“About what?” Reed spat out, picking up Stella’s ruined clothes from the floor and looking at them, deciding to throw them in her hamper. She turned around and faced Stella, hands on hips. 

“I do need human connection, as much as it pains me to admit. I use sex for release but also to feel alive, desired, desirable…” she stated, painting patterns on the carpeting with her toes.

“So the resolute Stella is human after all?” Reed sarcastically chuckled. “You don’t say. I don’t buy that bullshit line that you need to feel desired though. At least a dozen eyes that surround you are undressing you on any given day.”

Stella slumped her shoulders, feeling defeated. “I don’t mean in the physical sense. I… crave connection on another level but… I intentionally put myself in positions where I don’t give or receive it.”

Reed looked up at her, shock clearly on her face. Her heart suddenly constricted, breaking all over again for this woman. She didn’t want to invade her privacy but something inside her wanted to get her hands on the detective’s dream diary. She knew it had to hold a lot of answers to the troubled psyche she was currently battling. She resolved to ask her permission to see it someday. Looking at the bed she just neatly made up, she threw down the covers again and dropped her robe, climbing in. “Get over here. Get in. Let’s start this morning over again.”

Stella looked up from the carpeting, wide eyed with shock. Her eyes fell to Reed’s exposed breasts, glowing in the sunlight in the room. She continued to stand in place, unable to move. “I… I need to get into the office…” she trailed off.

“I already told Burns you weren’t coming in. After the events of yesterday he agreed that you weren’t needed in the office today and you could use a day off.” Reed explained, padding the bed next to her with her hand in invitation.

“Was that before or after you found out about Anderson?” Stella asked, slowly moving towards the bed.

“Boy you certainly are a masochist, aren’t you?” Reed snickered. “But to answer your question, it was after. I don’t hate you Stella. I know you went to him before we really… established anything here. But that didn’t stop me from feeling hurt, and more than a little bit jealous.”

Stella dropped her robe and climbed in next to Reed, sidling up next to her. “I really don’t deserve you,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around her neck and pulling her close.

“You’re probably right, you don’t,” Reed smiled, then yelled, “Hey!” as Stella’s hand came down hard on her ass. They both erupted into laughter and Reed captured Stella’s lips in a passionate kiss as their laughter died down. 

They laid there for a while just looking into each other’s eyes and caressing each other, not building up to anything, just relaxing in the comfortable silence and in each other’s arms. They drifted in and out of sleep, each watching the other in slumber and hearts growing, filling with the essence of the woman in their arms. At one point, Stella woke to find Reed tracing her fingertips on her collarbone and looking into her eyes.

“Please come to me if you need anything from now on. Comfort, release, connection, to vent, anything. Please,” Reed whispered earnestly. 

“I will. For the first time maybe ever, I promise, I will,” Stella whispered back, pulling Reed’s face towards her and seizing her lips in a hungry kiss.


End file.
